image: art by Stenzsk—a man wearing a cynical/bitter expression with his face painted like a clown; green background

How To Deal With Negative People

Allow yourself to be amused, rather than offended.

There isn't any reason for what others believe to influence your mood. What others think of you, what you're doing or how you're doing it, isn't any of your concern.

In any situation, there is more power in being amused rather than offended. 

Why should you allow yourself to feel insulted by someone else's conflicting ideas? Choose not to let anyone make you cross. You didn't show up at work, the grocery store or Starbucks to feel put out. The purpose of anything you do is to feel good, delighted, happier and excited for the next good thing that is coming to you.

Whether someone means well or not isn't any of your concern. Concern yourself only with feeling good in every moment. If something someone does, says—or doesn't say, displeases you, it is an unmistakable signal that you need to shift your focus away from them and pay attention to your own business, thoughts, feelings and those things which you can control.

Here's how to deal with negative people: Don't take them seriously.

Each of us is entitled to our own opinion—and though some people are more inclined to adopt an opinion widely held by others, it doesn't lend an ounce of credibility to what they're talking about, because it's still just an opinion and as my more cynical brethren will tell you: Opinions are like assholes—everybody has one.

Seeking out the opinions of others can be helpful and interesting, but it is imperative that we be selective about when we allow ourselves to be influenced by others and how we allow that influence to affect how we feel about ourselves, our choices, our circumstances and how we are getting on in life. Some people genuinely want to help. Others would rather try to piss up a rope than see us happy and prosperous. Still there are others who wouldn't mind seeing us doing well—as long as we're not doing better than they are. Then, there are those that want us to do well—so that they might benefit by our position, but who aren't willing to lift a finger or mumble an encouraging word to help us get there. There are many levels to this shit—depending upon personal relationships, the history of each person involved and other key factors that impair a person's judgement, the angles of attack are different and constantly changing to best serve its carrier at any given time.

The good news is that we didn't come here to figure out why other people want what they want for us. What other people want for us is dependent upon so many varying factors (human emotion, prejudice, fear, greed, past experiences that haven't anything to do with you, I could go on…) that looking to others to strengthen our sense of self yields results too inconsistent to bank on.  People only have the power that we give them, and only for as long as we allow. Yes, you can take back your personal power. Do it by deciding that there isn't anyone on the planet whose opinion you value more than your own. If some delusional person mistakenly thinks that their thoughts, experiences and opinion should be of more value to you than your own, allow yourself to be amused, because the very idea of that is literally funny.


CREDIT: Art by Stenzsk. Find him at—and be sure to let him know you like his work! (All artists need appreciation. Appreciation = soul food.)